My mind goes to strange places. I think about war, bloodshed, death, sacrifice, loss. I experience these from the past, present, and future. I regret the past. I endure the present. I fear the future. This fear is what drives me forward. I want to conquer my fear, but when you know what’s coming, when you know what you must do. You tend to become what you fear. To be a Farseer is harder than being immortal. To know bits and pieces of one’s future and to only see it in dreams and visions is to live your nightmares twice over. A normal person wouldn't be able to handle this. I'm used to it.
I’ve been like this my entire adulthood. Even before I had this power, this curse, I was treated like a monster. The doctors never knew when the foresight would manifest. My parents were bound by law to tell the school officials that I wasn't like the other children. They had to tell them that I could lose my grasp on reality at any moment. The teachers knew, the other kids knew. Prejudiced is the word. It was Ignorance. They didn't understand what I was. So they feared. So they attacked and assaulted. They called me inhuman, when they were the ones behaving like monsters.
I was seventeen when it happened. Joseph, he was practically my sworn enemy. He rallied his gang of bullies to pick on the quiet loner. This Would Be His Last Assault On Another Human.
He stood over me, blood dripping from my mouth. It first came with my vision blurring and fading to black. I saw fire and bloodshed, pain and suffering I clutched my head in agony. Screaming and begging for my mother. The four boys laughed at me, calling me names. The most common being mind-fuck, this was stated as a noun, that I was the embodiment of a mind-fuck. They repeated it over and over. The world around me started to spin.
The rest is what the police told me as I woke up.
Joseph- concussion, four broken ribs, shattered jaw. He was left bleeding in a coma.
Sam - Shattered knee and collar bone.
Cain - broken back, paralyzed. He tried to run.
Kurt, got away and called the cops.
Me and Kurt have been friends ever since. Always told me I’d be better on his side than against him. I was just happy to have someone to play chess with.
Kurt was smart, why he hung out with a kid like Joseph was beyond me.
Joseph died of internal injuries in the hospital the following day.
Sam and his family moved away.
Cain still doesn't have the use of his legs.
Kurt and I make sure to play chess together once a year.
To this day, I don't know what happened between crying out for my mother and standing above the crumpled bodies of three kids twice my size.
My parents believed that I had no memory of doing this to these classmates. The judge on the other hand, had me take a lie detector test, mostly because my parents spent time and money to convince the courts that what happened wasn't my fault, or my intention. I passed the test, and was charged with involuntary manslaughter. I spent the last two years of high-school in prison, not that I was planning on going to prom anyways.
I get out of prison this afternoon.
Its hard to live knowing that it was VoLuNtArY ~~~
But utterly and completely out of my CoNtRoL~~~
I will never again, lose control, of what I am.
LOG END EARTHDATE 2218 March 4th
